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Whenever I feel bad, I hug myself, and my guns comfort me.

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– Is this thought bubble really neccessary?

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– I got caught again at work today making funny faces at myself in the bathroom mirror

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– Not new: Sleeping on the subway New: Drool

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– It may be our day of holocaust but we find peace and justice in knowing just how fattening we are.

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– When you look through your screen at me like that, I tell you everything

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The honeymoon period is over.

– I could only fit the first hundred in my wallet. I carry the other four hundred in my underwear.

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– I am going to get inside you! Museli